A couple of things happened recently that caused my self esteem to take a bit of a tumble. I’m not going to go into it, because seriously, I complain enough about my first world problems (check that out, it’s funny). But needless to say, I’m left doubting myself more than ever. Also, I’m a girl, so you know I already have to ask if those jeans, my handbag, your car, that tree, whatever… make my ass look fat at least 5 times a day or my girl card will be revoked. True story.
- Does this double rainbow make my ass look fat?
I’m tired of being down and out and kind of a shitface to myself. Also, I’ve heard, no one likes a Negative Nancy. Bonus, I’m starting to piss myself off. So here’s how I’m going to get better.*
- Get some sleep. Lack of sleep makes people cranky. Usually I get 5 hours of sleep a night (when I sleep). I’ve done this for years, but perchance this skews my viewpoint? Yes, I’m going to admit that. Aren’t you proud of me? Solution: laze around in bed for the recommended 6 – 8 hours. Wow, who knew that laziness had its upsides?
- If only Batman had known that all The Joker needed was a lullaby and some warm milk, a whole lotta mayhem could have been avoided.
- Fake it till I make it or whatever that stupid phrase is. I’ve gotten myself into some really bad mental patterns. In fact, I’m so used to being negative about myself, that any other mentality seems conceited or egotistical. I’ve thought about this a lot, though, and I’ve come to realize that just because I admit to thinking I did something well or really liking something that I make, doesn’t mean I’m admitting I’m the best or that there aren’t people out there who can run circles around me. It just means that I’m enjoying what I’m doing and it’s ok to be proud of my effort. It still seems a bit conceited to me, but the goal is to break the pattern of negative thinking so that I’m less likely to automatically hate on myself. It might take a while for this one to really set in because I hear it takes about 28 days to break a pattern and form a new habit. However, it only takes one second to remind me of shitty Sandra Bullock movies.
- Wait, where are the zombies?
- Fuck the naysayers. Since that’s a quote from 311, I’m not going to count it as one of my daily F-bomb drops. Sweet! I should quote things more often. Actually, read the lyrics on this one if you don’t know the song – it’s got a great message. Ultimately, I’ve learned that there will always be someone who wants to poo on my ideas or make me feel bad about myself. Those people do me no service. When I think about it objectively, I do think I have a lot to offer. I have a really random knowledge base, I have tons of fun ideas, I always try to do my best, I have a decent sense of humor, I like to hula hoop, I can drink like a fish, I’m good at planning parties, I’m loyal, I think I’d do ok if I had to survive in the wild, and most of all, I’d do anything for the people I love. So boo on anyone who doesn’t appreciate those qualities.
- Why do we hate stoners again? Is it the all the positive messages or those pants?
- Stop with the pity party. Don’t get me wrong, I friggin love parties, but I’ve come to learn that a pity party isn’t really a party, it’s more of a one man band. And seriously, that shit is annoying. I mean, at first it’s kinda novel and will catch your attention for about 10 seconds but then you just want to push them down the stairs or into oncoming traffic or wherever pity parties and one man band’s congregate.
- The one man band: douching it up since the 13th century
- Just take the damn compliment. If there is one thing I love about my mister, it is his frankness. It is hard for me to gracefully accept compliments. It has always felt odd to me to receive them and I usually have no idea how to react when someone says something nice. So the mister has this great method for getting me to shut up when I start hemming and hawing over something nice he says. He tells me to “just take the damn compliment.” Until now, I’ve laughed and brushed it off, but he’s right. STFU, and take the damn compliment, Erin. It’s that simple and that hard.
- So, don’t do that? Right?
There you have it. A couple of things I’m going to try to help myself feel better about who I am. Because life is too short to for me to be unhappy with who I am.
* I am in no way, shape, or form a medical professional. Don’t do this shit at home. Or go ahead and do this shit at home. I don’t care what you do, kids.