So, the title sounds completely ridiculous.  Inception was just a movie and why the hell would I need to figure out my thoughts on it?  It came out like, two years ago.

But here’s the thing:  I saw the movie in theaters when it first came out and I kinda didn’t love it.

Before you all collectively decide to throw rotten cabbages at me for shitting upon an American treasure, let me explain myself.

Everyone I was with when I saw the movie was practically gushing love and offering to be organ donors to the movie should the need ever arise (um, ok people you can’t donate organs to a movie, but whatever).

I mean, the movie ended, the lights came up, and everyone in the group just turns to each other and starts raving over how UH-MAH-ZING and life changing the movie was.  And all I could think was, “Why?”

In truth, I wanted to like Inception. Really. I tried to love it like everyone else. Honest.  I mean, I’m not some half harpy, half bridge troll who just hates everything and wants to destroy all the joy in the world.  I love things. I love getting excited about things.  I want to find something awesome in everything.

But here was this movie that everyone universally seemed to adore and I just wasn’t feeling it.  I started to think something was wrong with me.  Was I just too dumb to get it?  I felt like I followed the premise pretty clearly and I understood the continuous convolutions they kept trying to put us through, but maybe I only thought I followed along and understood.  Is that the INCEPTION of Inception?

Ok, well, let’s say I really did get it, why couldn’t I just submit to the will of Christopher Nolan and just bask in the glow of his apparent all-knowing awesomesauce?

I thought about this for a while after seeing the movie and then just one day forgot I cared about this specific inadequacy.

I’m not saying I’m ADD, but

Every once in a while a friend would bring up how great the movie was and everyone would agree and then I’d remember that feeling I had when I first saw it and I would admit that I didn’t really like it.  Each time, I wouldn’t be able to express WHY I didn’t like it and I’d just mumble something about how I just wasn’t smart enough to get it.

I started thinking about it recently, though.  What specifically was it that I didn’t like about the movie?

Today I’m going to figure that out.

I know you’re very excited, aren’t you?

When I went to rent the movie (yes, I rented the movie at the movie store like some damn interdisciplinary film/ modern dance student), the guy behind the counter saw the title I chose, sighed happily, and said, “I hope you enjoy the best movie ever!  Sorry, I just LOVE that movie.”

See??  SEE?  EVERYONE loves this movie, even hipsters who work at outdated niche stores.

Sigh, I know I’m being mean.  He was a really nice guy.  Blech, this movie’s got me all hating on everyone. Maybe that’s the INCEPTION of Inception?

Well, I get the movie home and start watching it.  In order to recreate a movie theater experience (as much as one can in one’s home, sitting on the comfiest couch in the world, eating chili, and surrounded by animals) I make sure to avoid pausing it and to try to not ask my questions aloud.

Here’s my take (and if it’s been more than a day since you’ve seen the movie, then this probably won’t make sense):

•  The sets, filming, and all visuals are stunning.  Absolutely stunning. Phenomenal. The team that it must have taken to create all of that is mind-boggling and they probably didn’t get paid enough. And I remember thinking that the first time I saw it. In fact, I think that is one of the biggest reasons that people like the movie.
• The main idea is solid and interesting.  We have a world in which a dude has figured out how to invade and “architect” another person’s dream so that he can extract information and secrets or *shock of all shocks!* he can also suggest/implant ideas and thoughts so as to influence the subject’s actions in reality once they wake up (that’s the whole Inception part of Inception).  That’s pretty cool.
• The idea of sub-dreams and sub-sub-dreams and sub-sub-sub-dreams I am willing to buy into.  I’m already going along with the premise that crazy Leonardo DiCaprio and a scrappy Joseph Gordon-Levitt can invade my dreams, might as well assume there are sub levels to that.
• Backstory as to why Leo is cray cray.  Got it.  All good and I’m going with it.

As I was watching, though, I started remembering what I thought and felt as I watched it the first time.

I actually DID like the movie.  I remember thinking it was really well done and I felt the same this time around.  But, I didn’t LOVE it.  I thought it was a good movie, not a great movie. This is why:

•  I felt that Christopher Nolan was asking me to suspend too much disbelief. I think audiences were too willing to fill in the blanks and accept the unanswered questions about the world he created.  I just really don’t like it when a director does this.  I’m not saying I don’t like cliffhangers, or thought-provoking scenes that don’t answer everything, or that I need every single thing spelled out for me. But what I do mean is that the world he constructed didn’t feel fully fleshed out.  These were the kinds of questions I started asking myself (and couldn’t stop asking) about 2/3 of the way into the movie:

1. So if you have an “architect” create a dream world, do you just ask them to keep creating sub dream worlds “just in case” you need to go deeper? If they don’t have a sub dream world, or a back up architect like they conveniently had when they went into Cillian Murphy‘s dream, then what?
2. Where are these dream worlds stored?  In that one suitcase?  On a brain hard-drive?  If it’s in the architect’s brain, what if they eff up and don’t/can’t access it when they go out to do their Inception?
3. How did you get that suitcase in your sub-dream worlds?  Did the architect have to create that?  Or the person holding it?  How accurate of a creation does the suitcase have to be for you to be able to use it to get to another sub-world?
4. Is there really a drug that can knock you out for 10 hours but not eff with your “inner ear equilibrium”?
5. Why was there no flying?  It’s a dream world and you’re telling me NO ONE thought to fly?  Bollocks.
6. Why didn’t they think up bullet proof vests and shatter proof cars?  That would have saved them so much time and effort.
7. Why on earth did Ken Watanabe go into Cillian Murphy’s dream?  If he’s a competing businessman then Cillian Murhpy would know who he is and that would Inception the whole Inception or whatever.
8. How did Leo and Marion Cotillard get into limbo the first time?
9. What happens if you die in limbo?  What if you’re on a sedative and die in limbo?

And you may say that if I watched it 12 times the movie would answer all of those questions or maybe that my questions are inconsequential to the whole damn movie (they probably are), or if you view the whole movie as a dream then maybe the plot holes were there on purpose, but the point is that I was so compelled to ask these questions (and more) while I watching the movie that I couldn’t full immerse myself into Christopher Nolan’s brainchild.  And it felt like maybe he tried to cover it up with beautiful action and scenery (which, I will be the first to admit, was friggin’ awesome, but I hate feeling like I’m being duped).

• I also had trouble believing that a supposedly successful businessman (Ken Watanabe) could make such shitty decisions like hiring some dudes to “architect” the dreams of his competitor for the sole purpose of suggesting to the guy think that he should break up his company.  REALLY?  Are you that horrible at your job that you can’t possibly think of another, probably cheaper way, to best your competitor?  And why the fuck would you then, Mr. Asian businessman, go into your competitor’s dream, possibly ruining the whole deal?  How dumb are you?  I mean, even if the whole damn thing is a dream, did no one else dreaming think to question the stupidity of that premise?

I know, it sounds like a lot of hate, but that’s not my intent.  I just wanted to understand and pinpoint what it was that didn’t sit right with me.  All of those things aside, I truly did enjoy the movie.  It was fun, the acting was great, and of course I could blather on all day about the action and sets and whatnot.  I just didn’t love it.

That’s ok, though.  There are plenty of other things out there to love… like South Park’s take on Inception.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s14e10-insheeption