Today, for the first time in my life, ever, I purchased a frilly, probably-totally-way-too-expensive, frou frou bedspread quilt.
DON’T YOU JUDGE ME (please). *Sigh* Ok, fine. It’s a free country, do what you want.
But first, take a looksie!
Yes, I just dropped a Level 5 pun there.
I hope you had your helmet on because it probably BLEW YOUR MIND.
Like that. But punnier.
$20 says you have that song in your head now.
Oh, wait… now it’s in my head, too. 
Reverse ha ha.
But what does it even mean? Honestly, how does one stop AND collaborate AND listen at the same time? Because that’s essentially what Mr. Ice is asking us to do.
Oh V-Ice, I don’t get you. Also, V-Ice is the most unfortunate name ever. I blame you for not fully thinking through your choice of rapper names.
And I only used your stupid really intelligent song lyrics because they held a tenuous connection to my topic today:
Oh, y’all.
I’m trying to get back into the swing of things. I know I’ve been bad about staying in touch. It’s not you. It’s me.
I swear.
By the moon and the stars in the sky.
…
Yeah, I just did that. You know you loved it.
Look, I know I’m not alone in the whole “trying to get back on a regular schedule after vacay” deal, so I think it’s only fair if we pretend as if this awkward space between us never existed. Like how every Mormon handles the one gay kid in the family.
Moving on, here are some of the things I’ve been wanting to share with you since my last post:
Yes, I use words like “vacay.”
Also - I’M GOING ON VACAY!!!
Yeah, I’m totally not rubbing it in.
Sorry I haven’t been posting, I’ve been getting crazy amounts of orders and/or planning for my trip. Clearly, I haven’t been spending any time making up reasons why I’m not posting otherwise I would have come up with something better, like that I took a job as Captain Picard’s assistant but quit when I realized it was just Patrick Stewart. Or that I directed reenactments of every episode of Days of Our Lives using only Rhesus monkeys.
I’ll post more when I get back!
Late last night I saw this on Pinterest. Wha??
I mean, not only did I not expect to find something actually helpful amidst all the shoes and motivational workout posters and yogurt parfait recipes, but really?? Why did I not know this??
Also, does that really work? I mean, it made sense, but it was April Fool’s Day yesterday so I was on my guard.
Well, according to the internets: Yes, yes it does work.
But who am I to just go on the blind faith of what other people tell me? I mean, who am I to do that today? Because if it weren’t a day when I needed to write a blog post, well… who knows?
So, I tested it out using two different methods:
I’ve had something on my mind since yesterday and I need to clarify it for my piece of mind (it’s only going to be funny at the end, so if you want, just skip to the hilarious link). Yesterday I got into a conversation with some friends about weddings, which led to talking about my wedding.
I make no bones about the fact that my wedding was not my ideal or what I had imagined for myself. To keep it short – yes, things went wrong (as they do with any wedding), I took on more than I should have, and I made compromises I shouldn’t have, and it ended up being more stressful than it should have.
Now, here’s where I want to clarify, and I think it’s important because when I say those things about my wedding I think my intent and meaning becomes misinterpreted in a lot of ways.
Click the image.
Dare you.
Actually it just takes you to GLAAD’s website. Whee!
Just in case you’ve been living under an especially large rock that doesn’t have high-speed Facebook (ok, the internet), this image is a red version of the Human Rights Campaign‘s logo. It’s gone viral on Facebook (and I guess elsewhere, but I wouldn’t know because I’m too scared to use Instagram and Twitter) as supporters of marriage equality have been posting this logo to their profile pictures in a show of solidarity.
Why now? The Supreme Court began oral (hee hee) arguments today regarding two cases on marriage equality:
Infographics are way more entertaining than me just typing this shit out.
In addition, supporters are being asked to wear red today. Well, I wear red like, every day so I think I deserve a medal. Or a cookie. Or something.
I think I’ll just stick with the hat. I have a thing for weird hats. The mister has a thing for screaming and acting like a monkey. The point is – I’m wearing red. Actually this was taken yesterday. See, preemptive red. I’m also wearing red today, but no pants, so I figured I shouldn’t take a picture. Because I’m too lazy to put pants on.
But I’m not too lazy stand up for marriage equality! (as long as y’all don’t mind my lack of pants)
Y’all.
There is a terrible travesty happenin’ up in hurr (“up in hurr” means the internets).
This recipe has been floating around:
Click the pretty colors to fly to another land.
Now why would I, someone who keeps willingly posting this photo of herself:
Will someone (mister) just buy me this damn fancy hat already so I can stop whining about it?
clearly showing I’m probably inebriated (now and then), have a problem with drunk gummy bears??
I recently took some time off to attend the SXSW Music Festival (and by attend I mean day-drink, dance my face off, and party from 12pm – 2am for a week).
It’s a charmed life I live, y’all.
Just know that if you attempt a week of Bacchanalian excess, at first it will seem like this:
Shiny and new.
And then after a week it kinda feels like this:
Stumbly.
Pretty awesome, y’all.
I was going to post something before I left, and then leave some animated gif for you to watch for a week while I was gone, but
So I’m finally back and ready to roll. Because walking still hurts.
What did y’all do for Spring Break? Pics or it didn’t happen.
